2057-0001: Talons Open Team News Season With Cool New Corporate Press Release Template

[jiminyhopkins]

[Press Release]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Talons Think That New Press Release Template is a Cool Idea so they Stole It from Madison

Phoenix, AZ, 01/26/2057 - The Talons are pleased to make the following announcement to all area media outlets and internet forums in the Mountain Standard Time Zone.

Today, the Talons Electronic Media And Forum Posting Department saw a cool press release template from the Madison Wolves, and decided to steal it. TEMAFPD Director David Frum was quoted as saying, "It looked cool, so we did the ol' copypaste and here you go," Frum said. "Hopefully, they don't mind."

In other news, the Talons are basically giving away players to save money, because for some reason their stadium dues hadn't been deducted the past three years until just now, putting the club $11,000,000 in the red before the season even starts. The Talons Reclusive GM offered this quote: "So yeah we thought those dues were being deducted, but they weren't, even though we've been negative for the past three seasons. So I guess we gotta pay for someone else's oversight. Oh Well. Anyone want Damian Theophanous?"

For media inquiries, please contact:
David.Frum@TalonsElectronicMediaAndForumPostingDepartment.com
Reclusive.GM@CentralArizonaConcessionsLLC.com

Corporate Headquarters Location and Denny's Franchise Address:
4120 N 51ST AVE
PHOENIX, AZ 85031
(623) 247-4195

### About the Phoenix Talons

The Phoenix Talons are a wholly-owned subsidiary of Central Arizona Concessions LLC, an organization dedicated to extracting as much ancillary income as possible from hosting games of baseball in the Greater Phoenix Area. With our partners Denny's Restaurants Incorporated and Subaru of America Ltd., we strive to provide the ultimate in premium experiences for fans of mediocre baseball, cheap breakfast food, and imported all wheel drive vehicles.

[RonCo]

Quadruple Digits. Oh my.

[Lane]

Hey listen it's my job to update the spreadsheet every year. Not my job to make sure that the corporate accounting dorkus at Central Arizona Concessions LLC actually reads the spreadsheet.

[Lane]

Seriously tho, i missed the part where I was supposed to tell Recte to deduct the negative bonus funds in-game every year. Sorry about that.

I blame Aaron, he didn't leave me a how-to manual for this job.

[Jwalk100]

You should pimp out Your Mom.

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[trmmilwwi]

Seriously tho, i missed the part where I was supposed to tell Recte to deduct the negative bonus funds in-game every year. Sorry about that.

I blame Aaron, he didn't leave me a how-to manual for this job.

Be suspicious when Recte asks you to write up the notes on how you put together the spreadsheet.

[lordtoffee]

The good news is that "The Decision" wasn't stolen by the Talons. That is, if "The Decision" actually existed.