58.043 – Krill Split Season Series With Bluebirds
Posted: Wed Mar 13, 2024 2:20 pm
Off Topic
Zuniga on Hot Mic: “Lack of Interest” in Lackadaisical Heartland Games
July 15, 2058: Nashville – After a 12 inning thrashing of the Heartland-Division leading Nashville Bluebirds, Bikini Assistant GM Dustin Zuniga was caught on a hot mic suggesting that the team was struggling to find any motivation to play the middle of the season because “who the hell cares about a Heartland team?” The game represented the last time the Krill will play the Bluebirds this year, and evened the season record between the teams at four wins apiece.
“Like they’re supposed to be good?” Zuniga said. “Only four wins? Against us? Hell, Madison did that, too. Are we supposed to think that the Wolves are as good as the Bluebirds? No. I think not. The answer is obvious, isn’t it? I mean, look at our attendance records. No one cares about the Heartland Division.”
That bit about attendance does bear fruit in this case, as the Krill have seen a sharp decline in their numbers as Heartland teams have stepped onto the Atoll.
Note that the club will host Twin Cities this coming week. Despite the River Monsters being supposedly a “good” Heartland team, no one is expecting numbers anywhere near those of Pacific division opponents—who can be relied upon to bring in sell-out crowds to the 40,000 seat Forever Park.
True or not, however, the comments have put Zuniga into no little hot water.
“We are aware of the comments, and are reviewing the situation with Mr. Zuniga,” read a statement from Monica Green, the team’s Vice President of Community Outreach.
For his part, Zuniga stood pat when asked for further comment. “I suppose it’s unfortunate that the statements were made public. But facts are facts. We were .500 before the second division started showing up on our schedule. The fact that we split the season series against the "beast" of the division has to make you wonder how good that "beast" really is. Our team is young, and maybe sometimes we have trouble getting excited playing lower-grade teams. It is what it is, and my Mama taught me that I can’t really be too apologetic about seeing the truth.”
July 15, 2058: Nashville – After a 12 inning thrashing of the Heartland-Division leading Nashville Bluebirds, Bikini Assistant GM Dustin Zuniga was caught on a hot mic suggesting that the team was struggling to find any motivation to play the middle of the season because “who the hell cares about a Heartland team?” The game represented the last time the Krill will play the Bluebirds this year, and evened the season record between the teams at four wins apiece.
“Like they’re supposed to be good?” Zuniga said. “Only four wins? Against us? Hell, Madison did that, too. Are we supposed to think that the Wolves are as good as the Bluebirds? No. I think not. The answer is obvious, isn’t it? I mean, look at our attendance records. No one cares about the Heartland Division.”
That bit about attendance does bear fruit in this case, as the Krill have seen a sharp decline in their numbers as Heartland teams have stepped onto the Atoll.
| Opponent | Division | Games | Avg. Att |
|---|---|---|---|
| San Fernando Bears | PAC | 3 | 39864 |
| Vancouver Mounties | PAC | 3 | 39768 |
| Sacramento Mad Popes | PAC | 3 | 39743 |
| Long Beach Surfers | PAC | 3 | 39732 |
| Portland Lumberjacks | PAC | 3 | 39687 |
| Valencia Stars | PAC | 3 | 38839 |
| Chicago Black Sox | HTL | 4 | 37648 |
| Hawaii Tropics | PAC | 3 | 36781 |
| Des Moines Kernels | HTL | 4 | 35589 |
| Madison Wolves | HTL | 4 | 33509 |
| Yellow Springs Nine | HTL | 4 | 32153 |
| Nashville Bluebirds | HTL | 4 | 31176 |
| Louisville Sluggers | HTL | 4 | 29721 |
Note that the club will host Twin Cities this coming week. Despite the River Monsters being supposedly a “good” Heartland team, no one is expecting numbers anywhere near those of Pacific division opponents—who can be relied upon to bring in sell-out crowds to the 40,000 seat Forever Park.
True or not, however, the comments have put Zuniga into no little hot water.
“We are aware of the comments, and are reviewing the situation with Mr. Zuniga,” read a statement from Monica Green, the team’s Vice President of Community Outreach.
For his part, Zuniga stood pat when asked for further comment. “I suppose it’s unfortunate that the statements were made public. But facts are facts. We were .500 before the second division started showing up on our schedule. The fact that we split the season series against the "beast" of the division has to make you wonder how good that "beast" really is. Our team is young, and maybe sometimes we have trouble getting excited playing lower-grade teams. It is what it is, and my Mama taught me that I can’t really be too apologetic about seeing the truth.”