57.097– Krill “Attendance” Beats Recent Records

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57.097– Krill “Attendance” Beats Recent Records

Post by RonCo » Sat Jan 06, 2024 12:48 am

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August 28, 2057: Marshall Islands – With Bikini embarking on a long road trip, it will be nearly two weeks before the team sees the salty confines of Forever Park again, but when they do it’s likely that the attendance that game will put them over the two million mark, a target that the franchise has not hit since 2046, nearly a dozen years ago.

“This is genuinely exciting news,” said GM Ron Collins during a routine medical examination. “It’s a real testament to Mr. Westmoreland and his belief in the team and his transportation technology. It’s very heartwarming to know people are coming from all the way across the glove to enjoy the entirety of Forever Land and its life-enhancing amusement parks. I personally stopped into the thrill ride section last week. It was a real eye opening experience. Almost as exciting as watching Wilson (Andrade) try to block a grounder to second base.”

The club drew only 1.054m people last year, such a dire performance that the team had no choice but to sell to multi-trillionaire futurist P. Moreau Westmoreland, who then moved the franchise to its current location in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

When asked about his medical procedure, Collins deflected.

“It’s nothing, really, just a cautionary check. I saw one of the other teams in the league was trying to belittle our fan base by insinuating our numbers aren’t real, but when I saw the new financial numbers I thought I might be having a heart attack. Turns out bank accounts don’t lie. Not too much, anyway. So I’m fine.”
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Re: 57.097– Krill “Attendance” Beats Recent Records

Post by Lane » Sat Jan 06, 2024 9:17 am

well done!
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Re: 57.097– Krill “Attendance” Beats Recent Records

Post by recte44 » Sat Jan 06, 2024 6:01 pm

Boom

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Re: 57.097– Krill “Attendance” Beats Recent Records

Post by Dington » Sat Jan 06, 2024 6:52 pm

Well done, not that I’m surprised.
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