57.080 – Commish’s Office Authorizes Bikini to Print Post-Season Tickets

[RonCo]

Off Topic

Fans Urged to Enter Lottery!

Green Holds Dazzling Conference

July 25, 2057: Marshall Islands – Today Monica Green, Bikini Krill VP of Community Outreach, announced the league’s Commissioner’s office has authorized the team to begin printing Post Season Raffle Tickets that could be used to offset certain expenses the club has encountered this past season. It is the latest of many steps the team has taken to right the ledger and comes at a time when “Earth’s Team” is clearly not going to make the post-season.

“Don’t be a Dougie Downer,” Green said. “There’s always a chance.”

She announced that the team has purchased the rights to eleven premium seats for the opening game of this year’s Monty Brewster Championship game. Therefore, the raffle will allow for ten lucky winners to secure the rights to go to the game along with Multi-Trillionaire (and richest man in the World) P. Moreau Westmoreland. “It will include dinner at his private Forever Land Master Suite, and the use of his personal Come Together Door to transport themselves to and from the game itself.”

"The man is a genius," Green said at the 45-minute tiki-bar press conference that included a simply amazing spread of cold cuts, gourmet cheeses, and chilled shrimp cocktail. "We went to Westy with a note that our merchandising budget could use a little boost, and he came up with this amazing idea. We all thought it was just great. It's just another reason for fans of Earth's Team to come out and enjoy the Marshall Islands!"

Fans can purchase raffle tickets for $20 each at kiosks located in Forever Park.

[trmmilwwi]

You couldn't pay me enough to have dinner and then Come Together with Westy. Nightmare.

[7teen]

Dinner and come together? That sounds like our Date Kate night.