Finch Ready to go as fifth starter

[aaronweiner]

Despite his headliner status, Hayden Finch will be ready to go for Opening Day. Finch suffered a slight setback in spring training, but it's now thought that the 7' 1" behemoth just wanted some time to hang out on the beach and chase after tall chicks.

"No, no, I'm really hurt. See? Owwwwwwwwwwch," said Finch.

Obviously, Finch's health and happiness will be a major reason why Birmingham will succeed or fail this season, so brass thought it better to not question the big righty.

"We actually don't question him much anyway," said manager Lou Brown. "Have you seen the size of that guy? You don't ask him too many questions."

Finch will start the year in the fifth starter spot and is scheduled to go up against Des Moines' Ramon Cisneros.