Byline: Max Offen Sichtlich
Off Topic
Where Is Virgil Vaughn?
Nov 10, 2055
No one thought it was particularly strange when Sacramento team trainer Virgil Vaughn retired. Sure, his departure was abrupt—a simple not left on the corner of his desk, and a solitary stethoscope tangled up in the potted plant outside his waiting room. And then there was the fact that there was money left on his contract. But everyone said he was kind of like that. A good doctor, but a bit flighty.
And when new team owner Brad Mueller, flanked by the green-eyed woman, announced a new contract with AWAN Autonomics and Medical Institute, no one really blinked an eye. AWAN is headed by polymath gazillionaire Dr. Munir Awan, MD, PhD, and all the other Ds, and it seemed only natural he could do something to help keep the guys off the DL. So even though some insiders were whispering that the good doctor, who is only 45 years old, might be in over his head when it comes to nursing older arms back to health, the general public didn’t seem to take much notice.
But this reporter has unearthed new light on the subject and has cause to be concerned for the health and whereabouts of one Mr. Vaughn, who has since remained off the grid since that time. Sources close to the eccentric Mr. Vaugn says that he’s nowhere to be found—not at any of his favorite haunts. Not the wax Mobster Wax Museum. Not at the Candied Yam Outlet. Not even at the Slot Car racing center, which is a place he’s been known to frequent simply to stand in the corner and growl “Rummmm, rummm, rummm” as the cars go by. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that).
Further, new sources report that Munir was recently seen slipping into the Basilica late in the evening, only to be escorted out several hours later, moving in what was described as a “robotic slouch.”
No one seems to know anything more about that, but it’s noted that Dr. Awan was also incommunicado for two days after the alleged event.
Stay tuned.