55.066 – 10 Reasons the Popes Can't Possibly Win

[RonCo]

Byline: Max Offen Sichtlich

Off Topic

Result of Mid-Season Moves Inconclusive

October 9, 2055

After a long, griding season, our fair players from California find themselves as a massive underdog as they face the behemoth Nashville Bluebirds. I know this is not a statement true Pope Followers want to hear, but it is the unfortunate truth.
Herein are the ten reasons why the Mad Popes will be going home after the Doubleday.


1. Dallas Dixon is hurt. This sounds like a big nothingburger, but Rich Dares is not a championship second baseman.
2. The GM is Ron Collins and the calendar reads October. This is essentially what it looks like when the opposition draws a bye.
3. The Bluebirds have had the benefit of playing baseball while the Popes have had to sit out and draw rust.
4. Nashville has paid the umpires. Receipts have been posted all across the internet. No one cares because everyone just assumes it will happen.
5. The song “Cow Patty Lindsay” has gone viral around the league, and the streamers want to take advantage of it. They, too, have paid the umpires.
6. With long-term security in hand, Carlos Flores is distracted searching for a condo overlooking … something.
7. Mikki Manning has refused an invitation to sing the national anthem at Game One, blaming an congenital need to stay away from anything related to Nashville.
8. Assistant GM Carlos Camacho is said to be on assignment to search for building contractors. Nothing good happens while Camacho is away.
9. The stench in Les Paul Field is mind-numbing. Unlike for covid and other horrific diseases, masks don’t work. But Bluebird players get antidote before games and hare hence immune.
10. Adds up to the fact that the team is only 2-6 against the Bluebirds through the season. No reason to expect a change now.


So, the bottom line here is that a Sacramento literally cannot happen. I mean, Seriously. Cannot. The line will be so lopsided, one wonders if Chad Nason would even show his face in Nashville if the impossible actually occurred.

[Knucklehead254]

Reason #2 would've been enough.

[Dington]

Byline: Max Offen Sichtlich

Off Topic

Result of Mid-Season Moves Inconclusive

October 9, 2055

After a long, griding season, our fair players from California find themselves as a massive underdog as they face the behemoth Nashville Bluebirds. I know this is not a statement true Pope Followers want to hear, but it is the unfortunate truth.
Herein are the ten reasons why the Mad Popes will be going home after the Doubleday.


1. Dallas Dixon is hurt. This sounds like a big nothingburger, but Rich Dares is not a championship second baseman. Dares is a deep spy sent from the Nashville organization years ago.
2. The GM is Ron Collins and the calendar reads October. This is essentially what it looks like when the opposition draws a bye. I’ll at least wear ya down enough for the next guy to finish you.
3. The Bluebirds have had the benefit of playing baseball while the Popes have had to sit out and draw rust. Didn’t want Clayton to start Game 1 anyway.
4. Nashville has paid the umpires. Receipts have been posted all across the internet. No one cares because everyone just assumes it will happen. Paid them with IFA this year. Didn’t have any cash.
5. The song “Cow Patty Lindsay” has gone viral around the league, and the streamers want to take advantage of it. They, too, have paid the umpires. It’s my new ringtone.
6. With long-term security in hand, Carlos Flores is distracted searching for a condo overlooking … something. I’ve already steered every realtor away from him. He had to throw the game in order to get any place now.
7. Mikki Manning has refused an invitation to sing the national anthem at Game One, blaming an congenital need to stay away from anything related to Nashville. She’s still banned from Les Paul Field.
8. Assistant GM Carlos Camacho is said to be on assignment to search for building contractors. Nothing good happens while Camacho is away. Also have ties to commercial real estate.
9. The stench in Les Paul Field is mind-numbing. Unlike for covid and other horrific diseases, masks don’t work. But Bluebird players get antidote before games and hare hence immune. Masks don’t work.
10. Adds up to the fact that the team is only 2-6 against the Bluebirds through the season. No reason to expect a change now.


So, the bottom line here is that a Sacramento literally cannot happen. I mean, Seriously. Cannot. The line will be so lopsided, one wonders if Chad Nason would even show his face in Nashville if the impossible actually occurred.

[RonCo]

Shhhh ... trying to keep the fact that Dares is a NSH plant secret from my fans.

[Jwalk100]

Byline: Max Offen Sichtlich

Off Topic

Result of Mid-Season Moves Inconclusive

October 9, 2055

After a long, griding season, our fair players from California find themselves as a massive underdog as they face the behemoth Nashville Bluebirds. I know this is not a statement true Pope Followers want to hear, but it is the unfortunate truth.
Herein are the ten reasons why the Mad Popes will be going home after the Doubleday.


1. Dallas Dixon is hurt. This sounds like a big nothingburger, but Rich Dares is not a championship second baseman. Dares is a deep spy sent from the Nashville organization years ago.
2. The GM is Ron Collins and the calendar reads October. This is essentially what it looks like when the opposition draws a bye. I’ll at least wear ya down enough for the next guy to finish you.
3. The Bluebirds have had the benefit of playing baseball while the Popes have had to sit out and draw rust. Didn’t want Clayton to start Game 1 anyway.
4. Nashville has paid the umpires. Receipts have been posted all across the internet. No one cares because everyone just assumes it will happen. Paid them with IFA this year. Didn’t have any cash.
5. The song “Cow Patty Lindsay” has gone viral around the league, and the streamers want to take advantage of it. They, too, have paid the umpires. It’s my new ringtone.
6. With long-term security in hand, Carlos Flores is distracted searching for a condo overlooking … something. I’ve already steered every realtor away from him. He had to throw the game in order to get any place now.
7. Mikki Manning has refused an invitation to sing the national anthem at Game One, blaming an congenital need to stay away from anything related to Nashville. She’s still banned from Les Paul Field.
8. Assistant GM Carlos Camacho is said to be on assignment to search for building contractors. Nothing good happens while Camacho is away. Also have ties to commercial real estate.
9. The stench in Les Paul Field is mind-numbing. Unlike for covid and other horrific diseases, masks don’t work. But Bluebird players get antidote before games and hare hence immune. Masks don’t work.
10. Adds up to the fact that the team is only 2-6 against the Bluebirds through the season. No reason to expect a change now.


So, the bottom line here is that a Sacramento literally cannot happen. I mean, Seriously. Cannot. The line will be so lopsided, one wonders if Chad Nason would even show his face in Nashville if the impossible actually occurred.

[cheekimonk]

"Sandbaggin'
'Til the games are played
Sandbaggin'
It's the American way
..."