Byline: Max Offen Sichtlich
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AAA Club Finishes With Broken Dreams, Promises to Write "How I Spent My Summer" Essay Without Using ChatGPT
August 31, 2055
It’s official, folks. Somewhere in the Black Hills of Dakota, Gideon has officially checked out, and he left it no doubt, to help with good Rocky’s revival. Whoever the hell that is.
At the end of the day, the season was kind of like a kid’s summer vacation in Long Beach.
You know what I mean, right?
Kind of boring. Filled with hope that you know is just never going to come to anything, and then wrestling with the feeling like it might just well last forever.
Sigh.
Bottom Line: The Black Hills Rally finished the year at 65-74. Arguably they weren’t that good. The club was 12th in starter’s ERA, and 13th in runs scored. Only a top-end bullpen kept the club from losing 80+ games. From a player development standpoint, things were … well … okay. The team saw Juan Vera bounce back and forth, and it appears 2055 should be his last in the Dakotas—or at least he seemed to think so, seeing as rather than take an apartment on his return trip, he booked himself a room in the local salon and is rumored to have taken up with a girl who called herself Lil. Or was that Nancy? I dunno. Why am I writing like that? Regardless, Vera had a nice AAA numbers (.303/.386/.489, with homers in 231 AB. Likewise, Yuu Suzuki proved he could be a major league player, but found himself back down here, where he did just as well at .318/.333/.458, with 5 homers to go with his 12 in Sacramento.
Both kids were maybe just a year too young for the bigs?
We’ll find out.
Another kid, 19-year-old Joe “Shoefull” Jackson showed up halfway through the season and clubbed his way to a .368/.398/.520 slash that has turned more than a few eyes. They say the kid is a line drive machine, and that he carried his bat around like it’s a gun, and he’s ready to shoot off the legs of his rival.
So to speak.
Whatever that mean, Jackson added ten doubles and a couple triples to his 3 homers. If he develops any true power or plate discipline whatsoever, he might be pretty good.
Catcher Mike Sullivan had a workmanlike year, too. He could play in Sacramento sometime.
There were a few bright spots on the hill, too. Mitchell Radnall came back up too late to save the season, but he did turn a 6-0, 3.59 ERA in 14 starts. Oldster Terence Harris was apparently trade bait that no one snapped up. Talk says that he’s going to throw a September out of the Sacramento bullpen and the team will reassess in the Fall. He did well, though. We like him.
Lefties Dave Hebert and Avabhasita Sangha teamed up with Michael Craig and a couple others to drive that top-notch bullpen. Craig was an option victim this year, so spent more time here than he probably wanted (see what I mean about that summer vacay in Long Beach? Or was that San Fernando? I dunno).
There were a few others, including 28-year-old Harry Bean, who pitched well enough for the Rally, but was released and is already dressed in his street clothes on his player card. Don’t believe me?
Anyway. The problem with the pitching was that there just wasn’t really enough of it, and what was there is that Quad-A kid of talent that hangs onto an organization like a barnacle, not really doing much but causing friction, but seeming like it’s always too much effort to go crape it off (enough with the Surfer references, all right?).So, there’s that.
750 words about a AAA team that went 65-74.
How much more exciting can you get?
I know, I know, let me tell you about how I spent my summer in Long Beach.
