Byline: Max Offen Sichtlich
Off Topic
SAC Front Office Deemed Unwatchable TV
July 28, 2055
Literally moments after a segment of the BBA Today dropped in which Sacramento GM Ron Collins was recorded saying the team was likely not in the mix for trade deadline deals, the club announced they had sent veteran relief pitcher Aaron Anderson to Chicago and received back a meatbag who can theoretically play baseball at the Short A level.
Which begs the questions:
(1) Does this front office understand the entire concept of a deadline deal?
(2) Does this front office understand they are leading the best division in baseball?
In Normal World, trade deadline sees a phalanx of major league players heading to contenders, and prospects heading to … well … the not contenders. But this front office clearly lives several time zones away from Normal World. This is an idea augmented by the fact that sources inside the club are reporting that the phones continue to ring in GM Ron Collins’s office, and that assistant GM Carlos Camacho seems particularly flustered by that fact. Sources say the management staff is in some considerable disarray, with the financial crew so crossed up they often can’t even say it the team is under cap or over.
“We’re not as bad as Rocky Mountain,” one accountant said. “But then, who is?”
It’s bad enough that fans of the team seem to be checking out.
“If we wanted this kind of bullshit, we’d follow the Heartland,” said Cam Nealy, a carpenter and construction worker who came to the offices yesterday to discuss infrastructural changes, but was left waiting in the front office for so long he just left. “It’s a total mess.”