Byline: Max Offen Sichtlich
Off Topic
Picket Lines Set at Basilica Corner
July 21, 2055
After this publication wrote about the fact that long-tenured Mad Pope pitching coach Gabriel Campos could be out of a job soon, fans from across the Sacramento Valley area began a long steak-out (and by that we do mean “steak out” as the barbeque grills could be smelled for kilometers around).
“We want them both,” said Siad Peterson, a local developer who was munching on a mustard-filled brat as he held up his Make the Pack Full sign. “Campos has been the guy, you know? We owe him a lot. But we understand Scholsey is down there in AAA and ready to go. So we say, why not two? Let’s have ’em both up here.”
When the team lost to Madison by a score of 1-0, fans were livid.
“If anyone needs to go it’s (hitting coach, Moon) Jetson,” Peterson said. “I mean, we can’t hit worth a damned and we want to let the pitching coach walk?”
When asked for a response, the team said that GM Ron Collins was away from the desk at the moment, but assistant GM Carlos Camacho stepped forward and said “When one with the highest accomplishment does not wrangle with their low status, no one finds fault with him.” Then he left, and only the aroma of freshly vested lime peels remained.