Off Topic
JUNE 16, 2055
Aging veteran starting pitcher Carlos Flores has been the center of some controversy since his acquisition, often struggling to explosive results. For offenses, anyway. It was bad enough that some team insiders suggest it was this last straw that caused long-time GM shoeless to jump ship and head off to finer pastures, bottles of wine and loaves of banana bread in hand. Indeed, in his farewell diatribe, the beloved GM implored Flores to jump ship himself.
Alas, it was not to be.
Now, however, Sacramento fans aren’t sure what to make of comments that Flores’s agent made on a recent interview show that was ostensibly focused on brand management and competitive price manipulation. “Carlos loves Sacramento, and I think Sacramento loves Carlos,” Bertram C. “Bertie the Squirty” Myers, the CEO of SPorts Representation, Education, And Digital Entertainment Management - Wide, Inc. (known to BBA GMs across the globe as SPREAD’EM-Wide, Inc.) said. “In fact, I can report that we’re having conversations now about extending his stay here. He loves the Basilica.”
Fans, who have been counting the days until Flores moves on, have been flummoxed, especially since new GM Ron Collins has not taken the time to comment one way or another.
The general consensus around the social virtch is that the price tag for “Tag” needs to be substantially lower and that a bus ticket out of town would be preferable.
“Anything more than a stale Cheeto is too much if you ask me,” said Mae Francis, a green-eyed waitress at the Pope Shop Sports Bar across from the Basilica. “Tips have been down around most of his starts. Everyone just comes in and gets blotted trying to forget what they just saw.”
That said, after a rugged first two outings in which the 34-year-old veteran allows 11 runs in under 14 innings, things seem to have stabilized. Remove those two stars, and Flores is 5-1 with a 3.44 ERA. While not quite the Nebraska level quality he’s shown before, that’s nothing to sneeze at—especially considering that a majority of his starts have been outside the pitcher-friendly confines of Sacramento’s ballpark.
Flores currently has a $25M option to play 2056 in Sacramento, with the bill half-footed by Atlantic City.
It’s certainly possible that Flores’s agent is just stirring the pot.
“We’ll just have to see what happens, now, won’t we?” Mae Francis said as she went off to take an order.