50.3 GM Trades for Two Bums With the Same Name as Him!

[tylertoo]

GM Trades for Two Bums With the Same Name as Him!
Pundits cry foul, saying he's running the team as a vanity project
Deal also includes a player that the other team calls a "Superstar"

Chicago, January 1, 2050: Chicago GM Mike Dunn today announced an off-season trade in which the organization acquired not one but two minor leaguers who share his name.

The deal with the Edmonton Jackrabbits had Dunn sending two young prospects to Edmonton: LF Rashid bin Mujahid and SP Chris Duncan, both in the A-ball Grand Junction Gold Sox, along with minor league catcher Ralph Bills, now in AAA.

GM Mike Dunn, catcher Michael Dunn, and farmhand CF Mike Dunn

In return, Mike Dunn receives 30-year catcher Michael Dunn (no relation), now on Edmonton's AAA roster, and 22-year old centerfielder Mike Dunn (no relation), who toiled last season in short-A. "We are thrilled to welcome them to the Black Sox organization," said Dunn about Dunn and Dunn. "We know they are primed and ready to contribute."

Also thrown into the deal, apparently as an afterthought to Dunn, was a major league outfielder, Manoell Whanon. "The Jackrabbits' GM Ben Teague told me he's a superstar, so I figured, what the heck, I'll take a flyer on him."

Black Sox fan Tillie Taldowesky tweets her Dunn disdain

This strange focus on the two namesakes in the deal prompted a furious outcry on Twitter, in what appears to have been the first time ever that people voiced outrage on normally sedate social media. "This Dunn guy doesn't care about fielding a winner, he just wants to see his name in lights," said one very clever tweet. Others posted memes of Dunn looking at himself in the mirror. So freakin' clever, those social media mavens.

We must, however, note this surprising fact: Dunn (the GM) was the very person who brought both Dunn (the catcher) and Dunn (the centerfielder) into the Jackrabbits organization. He traded for Michael when serving as the GM of the Jackrabbits, and then drafted Mike in the fourth round of the '48 draft. Now, as the Chicago GM, his fetish-like fixation on namesakes continues.

The deal for Dunn and Dunn (and also Whanon) is the second trade that Dunn carried out this offseason. Earlier he traded workhorse starter Jose Arellano and fan favorite infielder Larry Barkin to Jacksonville, receiving in return two minor leaguers not named Dunn: shortstop prospect Scott Torres and reliever Todd "Dropkick" Gunn. Apparently 'Gunn' was as close to 'Dunn' as Dunn could get in trading with the Hurricanes.

[jiminyhopkins]

Guess you'd call this a Dunn deal.

[ae37jr]

They are definitely related. Can't deny that kid on the right.

[Jwalk100]

I don't think he's Dunn yet.

[CTBrewCrew]

Guess you'd call this a Dunn deal.

WOW DAD JOKE