Baseball Mumbai: Nice Tators 2039.6
Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2019 12:26 pm
SAI: Welcome, Stargazers, to a special edition of Baseball Mumbai. I'm your handsome host, Sai "Young" Ahuji, and with me, as always, is Aarav "the Umeba" Patil.
AARAV: So glad to be here, Sai. I can't wait to get going on this episode.
SAI: [looks at camera with a sly grin] Stargazers, we have for you today an intriguing story out of the Sun Valley Resort in Boise, Idaho, of the United States of America. Baseball Mumbai received a tip from recently demoted Spuds right-fielder, Dileep Pankaj, who just happens to be the brother-in-law to our own top unpaid intern, Wasim Jeffers Jr. According to Pankaj, his invite to the exclusive male-bonding trip to the resort was rescinded when Spud's captain, Pedro Nava, found out about Pankaj's demotion. Pankaj's description of the events at the lodge completely contradict the official Boise team news, Tator Talk's, version of the story. With more on this developing story, Wasim Jeffers Jr. is standing by with Dileep Pankaj. Wasim?
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WASIM: Thank you, Sai. Dileep, what can you tell me about what really happened on that weekend getaway for the Spuds?
DILEEP: Wasim, I don't know what that jackolope of a GM, Joe Lederer, is trying to pull with his fake news story, but he, along with manager, Barrett Callahan, gave me $25,000 in cash with the clear instruction of bringing over seven of Bollywood's top female adult film stars to, as Lederer put it, "boost the spirits of some of our guys."
WASIM: But the Tator Talk story talks about wives and girlfriends being invited.
DILEEP: Wives and girlfriends? [wild laughter] That's a good one. One of the guys at the resort sent me some pretty racy Snapchats of the shenanigans those guys were up to. Trust me, those Bollywood girls were doing things those ballplayers' wives and girlfriends would never do.
WASIM: Aren't you worried about repercussions for snitching? I mean, you're still a part of the Spuds organization.
DILEEP: Lederer can't trade me now. If he does, everyone will know I'm telling the truth. The way I look at it, those Snapchats I screenshotted may just hit the open market if I'm not back in Boise sometime in 2039.
WASIM: Blackmail? I like it. Well, Sai, there you have it. Looks like there were tators flopping around everywhere in Idaho this winter.
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SAI: Thank you for your professional coverage of this rather unique story, Wasim. Aarav, your thoughts?
AARAV: [scrolling through photos on his phone] What the hell? My cousin, Verma, was at the resort? [throws phone across the set]
SAI: Ummm... [looking nervously at Aarav] This has been Baseball Mumbai. We'll see you at the ballpark, Stargazers.
AARAV: So glad to be here, Sai. I can't wait to get going on this episode.
SAI: [looks at camera with a sly grin] Stargazers, we have for you today an intriguing story out of the Sun Valley Resort in Boise, Idaho, of the United States of America. Baseball Mumbai received a tip from recently demoted Spuds right-fielder, Dileep Pankaj, who just happens to be the brother-in-law to our own top unpaid intern, Wasim Jeffers Jr. According to Pankaj, his invite to the exclusive male-bonding trip to the resort was rescinded when Spud's captain, Pedro Nava, found out about Pankaj's demotion. Pankaj's description of the events at the lodge completely contradict the official Boise team news, Tator Talk's, version of the story. With more on this developing story, Wasim Jeffers Jr. is standing by with Dileep Pankaj. Wasim?
---
WASIM: Thank you, Sai. Dileep, what can you tell me about what really happened on that weekend getaway for the Spuds?
DILEEP: Wasim, I don't know what that jackolope of a GM, Joe Lederer, is trying to pull with his fake news story, but he, along with manager, Barrett Callahan, gave me $25,000 in cash with the clear instruction of bringing over seven of Bollywood's top female adult film stars to, as Lederer put it, "boost the spirits of some of our guys."
WASIM: But the Tator Talk story talks about wives and girlfriends being invited.
DILEEP: Wives and girlfriends? [wild laughter] That's a good one. One of the guys at the resort sent me some pretty racy Snapchats of the shenanigans those guys were up to. Trust me, those Bollywood girls were doing things those ballplayers' wives and girlfriends would never do.
WASIM: Aren't you worried about repercussions for snitching? I mean, you're still a part of the Spuds organization.
DILEEP: Lederer can't trade me now. If he does, everyone will know I'm telling the truth. The way I look at it, those Snapchats I screenshotted may just hit the open market if I'm not back in Boise sometime in 2039.
WASIM: Blackmail? I like it. Well, Sai, there you have it. Looks like there were tators flopping around everywhere in Idaho this winter.
---
SAI: Thank you for your professional coverage of this rather unique story, Wasim. Aarav, your thoughts?
AARAV: [scrolling through photos on his phone] What the hell? My cousin, Verma, was at the resort? [throws phone across the set]
SAI: Ummm... [looking nervously at Aarav] This has been Baseball Mumbai. We'll see you at the ballpark, Stargazers.