Welcome to this special sports edition of 'To Tell the Truth'. Let's get to our contestants.
- hashimoto.png (16.92 KiB) Viewed 116 times
Number 2?
- Ala.png (16.78 KiB) Viewed 116 times
Number 3?
- Cleaver.png (16.8 KiB) Viewed 116 times
Host: Alright, remember, contestants, in this special edition of 'To Tell the Truth' you are all required to, you know, to do just that
Cleaver: Lemme make this easy for everybody here. We can all go home now to the Sheila and the barbie. That's what we all want in life, right? I'm the rightful homer champ. I hit a homerun every 12 at bats. These other guys are way below that. End of story. I'm the champ. Where's my crown?
Host: Waaaaiiiit a minute, Mr. Cleaver. And, by the way, I assume your nickname is Beaver?
Cleaver: The beaver is not indigenous to Australia, mate.
Host: So let's say you won't find the beaver down under.
Cleaver: We've got plenty of bush though.
Hashimoto: 私はブラジルのブッシュビールが好きですが、
Host: Uh, tech guy, I thought that AI live translator was...
Hashimoto: ...Buschie beer, the best in beer in Sao Paulo.
Host: Mr. Hashimoto--
Hashimoto: Hai! Hashimoto-san.
Host: Hashimoto-san.
Hashimoto: Hai!
Host: Hi.
Hashimoto: Hai!
Cleaver: Hashi doesn't understand English. We were teammates. We both hit 43 roundtrippers. I hit one every 12 at bats. Hashimoto-san here hit one every 13 1/2 at bats, clearly inferior...
Hashimoto: Hashimoto-san lead league in home runs, slugging, OPS, total bases, extrabase hits, wOBA... それは簡単です。 橋本キングオブリーグ
Cleaver: This ain't about the MVP. It's about the home run champ.
Host: Alright, gentlemen, indeed, you were teammates on Sao Paulo. Mr. Hashimoto, you hit third, right, and Mr. Beaver, that is, Mr. Cleaver, you hit--
Cleaver: I hit clean-up. And this all about home runs and nothing else. I also led the league in RBI's at 120. Hashi here had 110. Hashi also grounded into God knows how many double plays, with his speed of 2.
Host: Alright, an interesting 3-4 combo, 43 homers each, contributing to the Pilots' league leading 220 home runs. NOW, Contestant Number 2, that's Wasim Ala'...
Ala': Bismillah-ir-Rahman-ir-Rahim!
Cleaver: This ain't a mosque, Ala'.
Ala': Alhamdulillah. I led the league with 43 home runs. It is written. Alhamdulillah. I led the GBC in Isolated Power. It is written. Alhamdulillah. I led the league in Hit by Pitch. It is written in my skin.
Host: Let's get back to the script. Now, Mr. Ala', what was your most memorable at bat of the season?
Ala': ما الفرق بين البقرة والغراب؟ أنا لا أعرف أيضا.
Host: Uh, tech guy!
Ala's: Some may say it was my walk-off home run against Cairo, blessed be the City of Egypt, my homeland. Land of the pyramids, Land of the pharaohs, Garden of the prophets, Playland of Allah. But I must say, my sweetest at bat was my grand slam against these infidel Pilots. Alhamdulillah.
Host: Hashimoto-san, what about you? And by the way, at 6' 9" you're the tallest player in the GBC, isn't that right?
Hashimoto: Collect. And...
Host: Did you ever think about taking up basketball, I mean, as a youth?
Hashimoto: No basketball on Hokkaido, my nation.
Host: I thought you were from Japan?
Hashimoto: Hai. From Japan. Hokkaido the enchantment of Japan. Sight of 2048 Olympic games, also 1972... Biggest game for Hashi this season no doubt walk-off home run against Jerusalem May 1. Hashi also 5 for 5 against Cairo May 26, Hashi also walk-off hit against Cairo May 3, Hashi also...
Cleaver: Wait, wait, big guy. Those last two are from last year. I mean the year before last, 2057. We're talking about 2058 only. You know, the season you grounded into nine double plays. And had 15 errors at first. Got it? 15 errors at first. Hell, I had 12 at third. But this is only about home runs.
Host: Mr. Cleaver, tell us about your biggest game of 2050--, of 2058.
Cleaver: It's hard to choose. Actually, mate, I had a grand slam versus Sydney. It went right over Ala's head. My biggest game was against Athens. Went 4 for 6 and drove in 8, yes 8 runners. Set the single game GBC record. Hit two monster homers. The stuff of home run kings. In toto, I had three top-25 batting performances. Who else in this room was in the top 25? No one, mate, no one.
Host: Mr. Cleaver, isn't true that you hit zero home runs in April? I mean it took you awhile to get going?
Cleaver: Hold on, mate. I had 30 at bats in April. I was waivered out of Jerusalem. Picked up the Pilots in April. If you scratch April, I hit a round tripper every 11.6 at bats. Project that [calculates on phone]. If I had 600 at bats like Hashi had, bammo! I smack 52 round trippers... Those are Felix Roman numbers, mate. 52 to 43 to 43. HR king ab-so-lute-ly! Where's my crown.
Host: How many round trippers did you hit down the stretch, in September, when your team was chasing a wildcard spot?
Cleaver: In September I led the Pilots in RBI's. I had more than Hashi-san.
Host: And home runs in September?
Cleaver: Six.
Ala': It is written. Cleaver hit .174 in September. It is written.
Cleaver: Bra, lemme tell ya what's written. It's written that you had 3 homers in September. Three? Got it?
Ala': Alhamdulillah. Allah knows best. And, I will return to BBA next year, Insha'Allah. My agent to get me huge BBA contract, Insha'Allah. You stuck in Brazil. I'll play in America. It will be written.
Hashimoto: Hashi the youngest here, Hashi only 21. Cleaver and Ala', their years have faded. BBA, GBC, no matter where, they are faded. Hashi like Japan, rising sun in the East. Beware Hashimoto-san, rising Sun. Hokkaido rising.
No further content available.
edited to add links to players
